History Repeating?

"We meant to do better, but it came out as always."

Viktor Chernomyrdin, former Prime Minister of Russia, talking about an unsuccessful monetary exchange performed by the Russian Central Bank in July 1993.

Why can't I shake the feeling that the above quote will have some resonance after next week's election? Scotland has a real opportunity to stand up for itself and take responsibility by forcing the issue and voting SNP. More political accountability, more power to Holyrood and the chance to make the MSPs there start actually earning their not inconsiderable pay (including expenses obviously). Devolution is a step towards independence, it's just that political events have conspired to present Scotland and its people with a wonderful opportunity to effect real change in the country for the better sooner that anyone expected. If Labour retains its position it'll be the same old same old. Westminster is not accountable to Scotland and doesn't really care- that was proved in the Conservative administration and indeed the current incumbent's administration. Or perhaps maladministration would be more apt. Either way, I really hope that the voters take this chance to make a change for the future of Scotland. And that the quote above is rendered irrelevant to the conversation.

Forgive me for being somewhat cynical about this...

The Sun saves the earth

By DEREK BROWN
APRIL 25, 2007

IT’S time for The Sun to save the Earth.
Britain’s favourite newspaper is today launching a special event that, with your help, is literally going to change the world.

Mark your diaries for JULY 7 because that is when The Sun is launching its first ever Green Day.

On that day we will be asking our huge army of readers to do just ONE small thing each that collectively will make a huge change to the planet.

We are all aware of the dangers of global warming and know we must change our ways to prevent the Earth heading towards certain catastrophe.

Temperatures are soaring and as polar caps melt, sea levels are threatening to rise to dangerous levels.

Many animals face extinction and figures released in the past year prove that if we do not make changes soon, the Earth will be in real peril in just a few years.

But just a small change in your lifestyle can make a huge difference.



Natural power ... ride your bike and hang-out washing to save energy

And to prove how easy it is, we want all of you to take part in Green Day.

Look at the list on the right. On Green Day, for one day only, we want you to do just one of those things. That’s all, it really is as simple as that.

To make things even easier, The Sun’s Green Day will coincide with the huge Live Earth pop concerts taking place around the globe.

On the big day, huge shows will be beamed across the world from Sydney, China, South Africa, the UK and the US. Stars who have signed up include the Red Hot Chili Peppers and Madonna.

Do your one thing from our list and you can sit back and enjoy the events knowing you are making a real difference.



Unlike other charity events marked by a day in the calendar, we will not have a conventional “totaliser” where you see cash racking up.

You do not spend any money so we do not need one.

But we will have a totaliser clocking up how many millions of tonnes of carbon emissions you are saving by doing your one simple thing.

On July 7 you might choose to change one lightbulb in your house to an energy-saving one.

You might want to walk, cycle or take public transport to work or school, or even share a car.

You may plant a shrub or hang your washing out instead of tumble-drying it.

You may pledge to switch off all your appliances at the wall for a day or not switch on any lights in your house unless absolutely vital.



Turn it off ... have a tea-free day and switch off lights

Or think big. You can install a wind turbine or solar panel, switch to a “green electricity supplier or ditch your gas-guzzling car for good.

Whatever you do will make a difference — and we want to know about it.

We want every reader, classroom of kids, office and group of friends in the country to take part by choosing one simple task from our list and ticking it off.

If you can think of something not on the list, that’s fine too.

Tell us about it by emailing features@the-sun.co.uk, texting to 63000, going to our website or by writing to Green Day, The Sun, 1 Virginia Street, London E98 1SN.

Then we will be able to predict how much carbon Sun readers have saved in just one day.

To remind you of Green Day we will be bringing you updates and a countdown to the big day itself so you can plan ahead.

It may seem a tiny gesture, but together we can make a huge difference to the planet.


---------------------------------------------------

Wowsers, The Sun cares! No really it does! Man, I'm going to start buying the paper now it's finally showed its caring side. I always knew it had one, it just needed something small, maybe like Global Warming, to help it reveal its true colours. Thank goodness! It's funny that it is has taken The Sun several yers to jump on the greenwashing bandwagon, BP did it years ago with its fancy new green-sun logo. The Conservatives are at it right now with their new tree logo. But maybe the Sun's different! Oh wait, I've just remembered Wapping. And Hillsborough. Maybe it's changed though? I mean they were a few years ago right? Nah, its editor is Rebekah 'Paedo bashing and friend of New Labour' Wade and its proprietor is Rupert Murdoch. I guess that puts paid to any semblance of being a caring paper nowadays. I wouldn't even wipe my backside with that rag, it'd be dirtier than before. Bams.

Mon the piggies!

It was an image conjured up by my own mind not too dissimilar to this that eventually convinced me to give up on flesh and become vegetarian.



And I also wonder where you can find pigs who's insides are already like salami? Must be rarer than hens' teeth.

And for posterity, I found it here.

Old favourite quote #1.

"The only way to behave to a woman is to make love to her, if she is pretty, and to someone else, if she is plain."

Oscar Wilde, The Importance of Being Earnest, 1895.

Oh the irony.

Bothering The Fourth Estate.

The Herald decided to print my latest offering of one of my many potshots at the Union, details below:

Word power

Speaking of long words, I too await a day. The day when the antidisestablishmentarians of the Unionist parties in Scotland get their comeuppance. Not long now, I suppose.


I'm not in the habit of using ridiculous verbosity normally (honest), but it was a response to the following letter:


Count on it

Your previous correspondents (Letters, April 6 and 8) have come up with the usual suggestions for the longest word in English.

But anyone with a Chambers dictionary and too much time on their hands can find a word 16 letters longer, as I am afraid I did a long time ago.

Though I have never been able to slip it into conversation, I await the day with relish when I meet a person with a lung disease caused by inhaling fine silicate or quartz dust so that I can say: "Ah, you must have pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis."


And you thought my letter was tenous...

And for posterity, the link to the paper, http://www.theherald.co.uk/mostpopular.var.1329112.mostviewed.points_of_view.php

Woah!

I saw this badboy when I was having a wee look at google regarding Australian exports, for work no less. You can see more of the craziness in its original posting here.

Anyway, I was struck by the sheer size of the bleeding thing. Can you imagine driving along the road and seeing this at the end of the road?! Woah honey! I think there is a giant robot attacking the earth! I mean look at the thing! It looks like some kind of Transformersian (okay I made that up, no worse than any other -ian terms that pseuds use all the time) (it is? oops!) nightmare machine! That ridiculous wheel on the left had side too! This gave me the heebies for about two nights after seeing it.







So what it is you say? Well it is a coal digger believe it or not. This particular beast is used in Victoria, Australia for extracting brown coal- the poor man's black coal. Kind of ironic since it looks like something straight out of Mad Max back when Mel was offensive to everyone and not just females and Jews. I mean, you've seen his outfits in those films right? Eugh. Anyway, back to the beast. Look at it! It's like somebody took the Eiffel Tower, turned it on its side, bent it out of shape a little, added an enormous cutting wheel bucket thing and then attached it to a moving plinth to give kiddies nightmares about. On a more technical note, here is what it is and does:

The Large Bucket Wheel Excavator

* Stands over 95 metres tall
* Is over 215 metres long (2.5 football fields)
* Weighs over 45,500 tons
* Cost US$100 million, took 5 years to design & manufacture and 5 years to assemble on site
* Requires 5 people to operate
* The Bucket Wheel is over 70 feet in diameter with 20 buckets each of which can hold over 15 cubic metres of material.
* It moves on 12 crawlers (each is 3.6 metres wide, 2.4 metres high and 14 metres long) - 8 in front and 4 in back
* It can remove over 76,455 cubic metres of overburden each day

I want one. Who wants to help drive it? First come first served. Bags I get to control the wheel though.

Ootside mah hoose.

As I promised several posts ago I would post some pictures of my 'hood. As the kids call it. I figured I'd start with a wee view from my window of the park, showing off its wonderful lustre. Or something.

This is the view from my desk of the park where it apparently lots of single men like to hang around doing absolutely nothing. All day, every day. Apart from shouting at each other and urinating in what might be London's largest public urinal- the wall at the side of my house. Nice.



And the view from my bed of the park. I know, I'm spoiling you all aren't I?



And the view from my kitchen window of the White City development of what purports will be London't biggest shopping centre. Great. Still, nice cloud and cranes combo.



So then I decided I'd wander into the park and take lots of amazing photographs of the shrubbery and green grass, showing you all how fantastic London is when it comes to parklands and commons. Instead the only thing of any real note was this tree.



But wait! What's that in the background? No not the Walkabout, which I've already mentioned and is already the bane of my life. Why it looks like the Shepherd's Bush Empire! Who could be playing there...?



Oh great. Jethro Tull. A guy hopping about on one leg and playing a flute. Just like it's 1978 all over again. Thank goodness I moved here for all the cultural delights London promised. I'm going home.

So I about-turn, and wander back where I see my room! It's where the magic happens. The one of the top middle two windows. And the bookies below? That's where a disproportionate amount of the guys I mentioned earlier seem to spend their time. Those guys must be really good at betting to not have to work all day.



So I go beyond the block to the side entrance, avoiding the puddles those kind aforementioned gentlemen leave for the residents, and walk through the back alleyway to my lovely front door, at the back.



Where I safely ensconce myself in my room (look at the difference!) and get back to work.



And there you have it, my Sunday afternoon.