Dickie Davies Eyes

Possibly my favourite Half Man Half Biscuit song, but definitely my favourite lyrics. Here's the great man himself- look at his eyes!


And the lyrics:

Mention the Lord of the Rings one more time
And I'll more than likely kill you.
"Moorcock, Moorcock, Michael Moorcock" you fervently moan.
Is this a Wok that you shove down my throat,
Or are you just pleased to see me?
Brian Moore's head looks uncannily like London Planetarium.

Chorus:
And all those people
Who you, romantically,
Like to still believe are alive,
Are dead!
So I'll wipe my snots
On the arm of your chair
As you put another Roger Dean poster
On the wall.
God, I could murder a Cadbury's Flake ?
Then I guess you wouldn't let me into heaven.
Or maybe you would because their adverts promote oral sex!
A Romany bint in a field with her paints,
Suggesting we faint at her beauty,
But she's got "Dickie Davis Eyes!"

Chorus x 2

And for comparison's sake, the advert. Uncanny I tell you.



Is it bad that I actually like the song in the advert? Probably.

And the song itself for your aural pleasure here:

Apologies as it is in m4a format which means you'll probably need iTunes to play it. I love this song.

What happened?

I was leafing through the Guardian G2 section the other day after- I buy it for the crossword, honest- and I came across a picture of Billy Ocean that left me transfixed. Now, I'm sure you all remember Billy Ocean's mega-hit When The Going Gets Tough, The Tough Gets Going and Billy looking like this:


Most likely, you'll have seen Billy strutting his stuff to the video also:



If you can get past the fact he's shilling a Michael 'sex addict' Douglas movie (part of the title of which is a mispronunciation of my name obviously) for just a second, you'll surely notice how Billy was a clean-cut kind of guy. Pretty suave, clean-shaven, well coiffed kind of fellow yes?




















So what happened to him to make him look like THIS?


Do you think it was Michael 'sex addict' Douglas' fault? Answers on a postcard please, or in the comments section. Personally, I think he saw George Clinton and thought to himself 'I'll have a bit of that, with dignity'. Or perhaps not. Either way, I much prefer Billy now, purely because I think that when the going got tough, he got going. Clearly.