TV Adverts.

I was watching the end of the Liverpool vs Chelsea match when after it was done I was subjected to the following nonsense:



I can't help but think that it is a really bad attempt at subverting this:



Needless to say it fails miserably. Furthermore, what on earth possessed Samuel L Jackson to prostitute himself and hawk Virgin tv? Does he really need the money? I'm guessing not. There certainly can't be an artistic reason for doing so so I guess it down to that age old affliction of greed. I shouldn't be surprised.

Mitch's sub-consciousness.

Readers of this blog will have noticed that I have on occasion blogged about my lovely wife's sub-consciousness through the new favourite quotes I've posted. Well, last night was a particularly fertile evening for some real gems. Poor Mitch fell asleep before me then proceeded to have some 'interesting' dreams whereby she firstly told me in a worried voice that she 'couldn't do it - it's for online travel agents' and that she 'works for GS Operations', she didn't expand on what 'it' was, but suffice to say I think she was having a work related anxiety dream; she then fell back asleep after I woke her from her bad dream and then proceeded to wail at me that she couldn't shout on me as 'they' took me away as I was drunk and stumbling at the service station. I'm guessing she wasn't on about the police, but I can't be sure. Judging by the pain in her voice (as reassuring as it was disturbing, oddly), poor Mitch was in some distress at the thought of me being carted off, drunk and stumbling, at the service station. Poor lamb. So of course, I woke her again so she wouldn't be quite so distressed. She then fell back asleep before proceeding to have YET ANOTHER bad dream! This time, just as I was nodding off she says quite audibly, 'The girl died here'. This woke me up unsurprisingly and i asked her what she said, to which she responded 'The girl, she died in this house', fully waking me up in a state of panic that Mitch and I had moved into this flat where something terrible might have happened and she hadn't told me. So I woke her up and told her what she'd said. She was a bit surprised but then realised that it was something to do with the programme Medium on TV starring Patricia Arquette. So there you have it kids, don't watch 3 hours of Medium before falling asleep or you'll have nightmares. Isn't that right Mitchy?

And I haven't even told you about the time when Amber was visiting only to hear Mitch wailing and crying from the bedroom about 'the children and animals need to be covered', whilst asleep. When I woke her up she asked me if I could go cover the cookies she'd made earlier that night as she'd forgotten. Once I'd finished laughing I did and they were delicious. Even if they were made out of children and animals...

It's a real test for us...

Then BAM!



As good as that clip is (I may have watched it, oh about 75 times or so), I think it would have been bettered only if Peter Martin was doing the commentary on the tv like this.

Click on the link posted 12/09/2007 23:57:10 and listen to his reaction to McFadden's goal. Probably safe to say that was the reaction of most Scots listening/watching the game.

Dickie Davies Eyes

Possibly my favourite Half Man Half Biscuit song, but definitely my favourite lyrics. Here's the great man himself- look at his eyes!


And the lyrics:

Mention the Lord of the Rings one more time
And I'll more than likely kill you.
"Moorcock, Moorcock, Michael Moorcock" you fervently moan.
Is this a Wok that you shove down my throat,
Or are you just pleased to see me?
Brian Moore's head looks uncannily like London Planetarium.

Chorus:
And all those people
Who you, romantically,
Like to still believe are alive,
Are dead!
So I'll wipe my snots
On the arm of your chair
As you put another Roger Dean poster
On the wall.
God, I could murder a Cadbury's Flake ?
Then I guess you wouldn't let me into heaven.
Or maybe you would because their adverts promote oral sex!
A Romany bint in a field with her paints,
Suggesting we faint at her beauty,
But she's got "Dickie Davis Eyes!"

Chorus x 2

And for comparison's sake, the advert. Uncanny I tell you.



Is it bad that I actually like the song in the advert? Probably.

And the song itself for your aural pleasure here:

Apologies as it is in m4a format which means you'll probably need iTunes to play it. I love this song.