I never quite got The Smiths...

Primarily because I found/find Morrissey so objectionable. They have some very good songs certainly and I do like some of them, but any time Morrissey opens his mouth I find myself trying to control the urge not to break something. I did think for a while that maybe he had mellowed in his old age and that maybe he was more pleasant. Of course I was wrong. He's still a tube. Evidence? Well, have a look here here. It's an article in The Independent concerning an interview that he's given to the NME out today. Some choice cuts from the article if you can't be bothered reading the whole thing:

"England is a memory now," he says, in an interview with the NME published yesterday. "The gates are flooded and anybody can have access to England and join in."

and

"Although I don't have anything against people from other countries, the higher the influx into England the more the British identity disappears. So the price is enormous. Travel to England and you have no idea where you are. It matters because the British identity is very attractive. I grew up into it and I find it very quaint and amusing. Other countries have held on to their basic identity, yet it seems to me that England was thrown away."

Ah, of course! That old chestnut of conflating Britishness and Englishness. Indeed. I nearly forgot that Britain (purports) to represent Scotland, England, Ireland and Wales. And that's before I even get on to the irony of somebody who was shacked up in the Hollywood Hills for years, but now lives in Rome, who is the son of Irish immigrants talking about the gates being flooded and anyone getting access to join in. Yes, must have been a real killer for you to be able to be raised in England after your parents moved there, make all your money and then move to wherever you wanted to in the world, Steve. Xenophobic undertones? No not at all. Honest. Having made your money then buggered off after some less than well-received press in, oh wait! The NME! Surprise! Obviously Stevie-boy doesn't consider himself as diluting the culture of Rome or Hollywood whenever he decides to live somewhere other than where he was born. So is it on the basis of class or race that he has a problem with immigrants in Britain? Old Stevie makes his comments sufficiently vague as per usual so as to build up some mystery about what he really means. Only there's no real mystery is there?

What is the British identity anyway? Britain is a mongrel nation, just like more or less all nations. The notion of a particular British identity puzzles me. What is it? Allegiance to the Queen? Stiff upper lip? Adherence to the notion of Empire? Desire to be at the top table in world affairs? Pride in being a part of a group of countries? Drinking tea? Obviously most readers of this blog have a fairly good idea of what my opinions on the matter are, but I am genuinely puzzled by the ideal of a British identity. Morrissey's ill-advised comments regarding being flooded with immigrants are as repulsive as Enoch Powell's 'Rivers of Blood' speech nearly 40 years ago. Aye, maybe Morrissey is the new Enoch Powell?! Britain has a proud history of helping those less fortunate (well, except during times of Empire when it was busy shafting those less fortunate wherever possible) by providing a safe haven from persecution and it has contributed markedly towards Britain being a forward looking multicultural society. Even though I don't necessarily agree with the idea of there being a Britain per se, I still find Morrissey's musings offensive. He's controversial for the sake of being controversial- a desperate man desperate for reccognition in the twilight of his career. And here I am giving him it! Morrissey has the last laugh as always! A sad, desperate, misanthrope laughing at me? Boo hoo.

Social networking, Sonic and my youth.

So social networking is all the rage these days- facebook, myspace, bebo and so forth are all worth stupid amounts of money and used by stupid amounts of people. I put my hands up, I love playing scrabulous on facebook and it is a great way to keep in contact with people as well as finding people you haven't seen in donkey's years. However, even more fun than any of that is finding ancient console games that you haven't played since you were 11. Like Sonic! Anyone with a facebook account can play it here. Anyone without a facebook account can play it here. It reminded me of Saturday afternoons spent in Perth walking from the Scottish Power shop to John Menzies to CA Games in the hope that one of their console advertisement games would be available to play. Scottish Power had Sonic, John Menzies had F-Zero and CA Games had the holy grail of SNES gaming, Street Fighter II Turbo- imported from America! I remember watching a Street Fighter II tournament of all the supposedly best gamers in Perth in this crammed little shop and being quite jealous that I wasn't involved. In saying that these guys were in their twenties and clearly total geeks so in retrospect there's not so much jealousy going on now. I do still love Street Fighter II though- I think it's unmatched in terms of one on one fighting games. That's not bad going for a game that's about 14 years old or so. Or I've just not gotten over it. So, in honour of my misspent youth (and not so youthful) game playing, my favourite games in no particular order are:

1. Street Fighter Two Turbo (SNES)
2. Goldeneye (N64- is there a more fun four player game?)
3. Championship Manager (PC/Mac- I've lost months of my life to this)
4. Pro Evolution Soccer 4 (XBox- probably my favourite football game)
5. Metal Gear Solid 2 (Playstation- so good!)
6. Mario Kart (SNES- Best. Driving. Game. Ever.)
7. Final Fight (SNES- although a poor relation to the arcade version that allowed you to play Guy)
8. Smackdown (Playstation- Royal Rumble option was AMAZING!)
9. Tetris (Gameboy- everyone's favourite right?)
10. Urban Strike (Sega Mega Drive- how much fun was it flying about Washington?)

Man, why can't there be one system that plays all the old console games you love with interchangeable joypads? Now THAT I would buy.

Personality test.

I'm always interested in personality tests that I either find or get sent to me on the web. I usually find them fairly easy to manipulate depending on what I feel like I want to be told that day. So this morning I became an animated leader! Look! PersonalDNA told me so. Or something. Scroll over each colour and you can see what it means.



Confidence
84

Openness
44

Extroversion
90

Empathy
26

Trust in others
100

Agency
22

Masculinity
90

Femininity
60

Spontaneity
60

Attention to style
48

Authoritarianism
12

Earthy/Imaginative
ImaginativeEarthy
74

Aesthetic/Functional
FunctionalAesthetic
64

Hmm an animated leader makes me think of Optimus Prime rather than a guy who jumps about a bunch whilst telling people what to do. I think I prefer my interpretation.

Glasgow, 2057.

As most readers will be aware, Glasgow was home to myself for around 9 years and continues to play a fairly dominant role in my life what with one of its universities employing me. So, it was with more than a touch of interest that I read this. Visions of Glasgow in 2057 as imagined by Glasgow School of Art studnts? Good stuff. I wonder what they came up with? Well, the BBC kindly offered some images of what the Dear Green Place would look like 50 years from now:


This apparently is what Glasgow Green Beach would look like, with all sorts of facilities along the banks. Like more hotels and stuff. I'm not entirely sure whether this is the North or South of the river. Probably the North right?


Kind of like a more modern Whitley Bay/Morecambe I suspect. Or indeed a Glasgow version of Coney Island?! Perhaps they could reimagine The Warriors with neds chasing each other? I'd be entertained to see the face painted baseball bat gang redone!

Then we'd have some boat racing by Hampden. Just the ticket for the regeneration of some of the poorest areas in Scotland!


When I think of boats and Glasgow I'm reminded of the Still Game episode when the neds drop a tv through Jack and Victor's dinghy on the Kelvin.

Which in no way shape or form leads me to the idea of a market under the M8! I like this idea- London has Porobello Market which stretches all the way down under the Westway road. Why would we have to wait until 2057 to do something London has had all these years? A big old farmers market on a weekend would be great. Just have to find a spot.


Below would be a wildlife reserve at Clydeport. I believe there is already one in Possil, another in Easterhouse and another in Shettleston. I think they call them housing schemes though.


And then there is the imagining (and I use the term advisedly) of Shawfield Stadium which would be Clyde FC's new home, and I quote "Fans would vote online every game to decide the colour of the stadium's outer skin depending on the mood of the crowd." I don't think it would take long to tally up 11 votes right enough.


We then have a City Farm! Again, London has one of these in Hackney and it is a great idea. Easy enough to implement and not difficult to maintain.


I do like how they've managed to keep those manky high-rises in the 'imagining'. Those things would be about 100 years old by this point. Does anybody seriously think they'll last that long? I very much doubt it. Basil Spence would be pleased to see them still in there though!

Then there is a new island creaated slap bang in the middle of the Clyde opposite the new BBC building.


I guess there is no harm in this since the Clyde is no longer a working river where the city surrounds it. Which is a bit of a shame really as there is no reason why it couldn't be.

Staying on the subject of the Clyde- here is an idea for a living bridge, like the Ponte Vecchio in Florence. I was a big fan of that idea for what is now the Clyde Arc, or as it is more colloquially known, the Squinty Bridge. A living bridge would have breathed far more life into the area south of the river, but instead we get a fairly unimaginative crossing. Now there is a surprise.


Lastly we have a 'new area' of Glasgow suggested based on London's cultural centre the Southbank. Sounds like a good idea, although the design below looks like an oversized version of the new BBC building. Hardly an attractive site for what could be an excellent idea.


Oh well.

All joking aside, I like that people are begining to think of Glagow again as a vibrant place where development can and should take place. In saying that, some of the ideas are not great, but they are at least thinking about it. Still, it kind of reminds me of an old newspaper clipping I found in the University of Glasgow's business archives in the Hugh Fraser collection:



Past futurology or present futurology? I think I like the idea of driving through the city at a 'compulsory 50mph!', if only to avoid being on the Kingston Bridge when it finally collapses! I'm quite sure that the ideas about Glasgow 50 years from now will probably be met with the same abject disgust that many people hold for the ideas of 50 years or so previously when concrete was becoming more and more prevalent in buildings. Still, it is at least good to have an idea of where the city may end up going that's not the dogs. (Shawfield excluded) Woof!

Birthday.

Since it was my birthday a few weeks ago I figured it would be a good idea to do a belated birthday blog of sorts.

People I'm not displeased to share my birthday with:

Adolf Dassler, founder of Adidas.
Charles Bronson, American actor.
John Barry, English composer.
Bert Jansch, Scottish folk musician.
Gerd Müller, German footballer.
Adam Ant, English singer.
Dolph Lundgren, Swedish actor.
Hal Hartley, American film director and writer.
Pablo Aimar, Argentine footballer.


People I'm not best pleased to share my birthday with:

Lulu, Plasticated British actress and singer.
Roseanne Barr, American actress and 'comedian'. The inverted commas are mine. She's about as funny as cot-death.
Ian Wright, English footballer. Celtc's best ever signing.
Robert Miles, Swiss record producer, composer and musician in trance and ambient music. Worst. Music. Ever.


People who had the misfortune to kick the bucket on my birthday:

Henri Matisse (he at least had the good grace to do it before I was born so as not to detract from my celebrations)

St Pancras.

St Pancras reopened yesterday, so I went along today for a wee look with Richie and Duncan. It's amazing! The roof looks fantastic and there is a very good meeting of old and new in it. I was so impressed I took a bunch of pictures, primarily of the roof. It has self-cleaning glass you know. Why can't our glasses be made of self-cleaning glass?







I like St Pancras. Although the Baby Betjeman cafe was crap- no veggie breakfast and it took an age to get a tea and a coffee. Still, it wasn't like there wasn't an amazing example of restored Victorian architecture to gawp at while we waited. When life gives you lemons and all that...

Nintendo Wii.

My sister has been hunting for one of these consoles for Christmas, which of course means she has roped me into looking for one. To cut a long story short, I found her one on the German Amazon site for about 200 quid. Which is a fair bit cheaper than what the profiteering bastards at PC World are selling their stock for. Have a look here. Unbelievable. I know the laws of supply and demand, but that's still an outrageous price. I suppose any idiot that is prepared to pay that for it deserves to be ripped off.

Some honeymoon snaps.

I realise it is the cliche that every newly married couple wants to show people their honeymoon snaps and how it is usually very boring for the viewer, but I don't care. It's my blog and if I want to post pictures of pretty things on it then I will! Don't worry, I don't feature in any of them. They are mostly of Loch Fyne and the surrounding area.

Par example:



The water was so still that it was almost impossible not to take a good picture.



Mitch was very keen to see what it was like.



So she went for a wee dip and got learned. I tried to tell her that Loch Fyne was a coastal loch and was freezing!



She looks much happier in this picture than she actually was. She was shivering so hard it looked like there were two of her.

Still, the sunset was so pretty that I took about a million photos, here are some:



The sun cast a pretty pall over the boats on the loch and their moorings.



And one more sunset for posterity:



Loch Fyne really is beautiful, about an hour and a bit from Glasgow and you could be in the middle of nowhere. Or 18 miles from Dunoon...



It has some lovely wildlife. You should be cautious though, there are red squirrels (?!).



Mitch was amused by the sign too:



The Loch also has a pretty castle at Inverary, of course. It's a funny green colour too:



Inverary also has the best looking car park I've seen in a long time, and possibly the oldest:


It dates to the 18th century. Who knew the Scots invented car parks before cars were even invented eh? Top bombing. That's another one added to the list.

After Inverary we went along the coast of the loch to the Loch Fyne Oyster Bar, a renowned shellfish and seafood purveyor. They had pretty shellfish:



That ended up on Mitch's plate!



Check the size of that crab.

The Loch Fyne Mirror.

Loch Fyne mirror 3, originally uploaded by mysterio!.

Can only be seen when the water is REALLY still...

I know I know!

I've already boasted about getting a good Scrabble score on Scrabulous on Facebook on here, but I managed another belter today that I feel obliged to share with you all. I managed to get all seven letters out on one move, as well as on TWO triple word score squares! I played unitages and garnered a total of 122 points for my troubles.

LOOK!:


I'm such a geek.

Guy Fawkes = Bam.

I don't think Guy Fawkes was a bam for any political reason, more that he inadvertently gave rise to the hideous concept of bonfire night and the ensuing cacophony of fireworks being set off for the weeks leading up to and after it. I loathe fireworks with every last ounce of my body. It is beyond me that for whatever reason people are given more or less free reign on gunpowder to do as they will. I was on the Tube today at North Wembley (that arch is massive by the way) when a group of schoolkids thought it would be entertaining to throw a firework into a crowded carriage. If it had caught fire on somebody's bag/jacket/whatever then you'd have been looking at a very dangerous and unpleasant situation. It didn't thankfullly, but it reinforced my abhorrence for the bloody things. They serve no discernible benefit to society, cause numerous injuries and deaths each year, are exceedingly dangerous and yet completely legal. Why? What good reason is there for it? They should be banned forthwith and the remaining jammed up the nearest fireworks advocate's backside to see how much they like them then. As I said, Guy Fawkes = Bam.

Well well well.

It turns out, according to a Herald report, that Scotland isn't the 'subsidy junky' filled nation Red Ken and that clown Kelvin MacKenzie (how it pains me to share a surname with this moron) have been claiming it is. More details here. Hmm, I guess that means that the SNP's claims may have been a little more accurate than the London-loving Scottish Labour Party gave them credit for. Now why does that not surprise me? Oh wait, is it because the Scottish Labour Party has consistently sold out to the South? Aye, in one. Quelle surprise!

Dear Ken and Kelvin,

Please read the above link with care and apologise for your inaccurate pronouncements and general ignorance of anything North of Watford. Oh and GIRUY you pair of muppets.

Best,

Niall